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“Pfft…Can you believe the garbage some people will put in their bodies?”

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“Who had the ocean whitefish and tuna paté?”

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Standing on a scale that says: “Warranty Void”

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“But just think how much better I could be doing, if only we had school-sponsored prayer sessions.”

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“Sorry, but under-the-table donations aren’t tax deductible.”

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“Look, you’re just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. Today’s kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.”

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